Your first flat will be terrible
Nothing says “graduate” like a tiny flat in a Croydon tower block. Mark and Jez’s place is a pretty great example of what you’ve got to look forward to after graduation, right down to the kids who insult your shoes when you get off the bus.
Going Back to Uni Feels Weird
That episode where the El Dude Brothers return to their alma mater is pretty much spot on. Everyone is younger than you and places that used to be familiar have changed, making you feel like an outsider in your former stomping ground.
Your Love Life Isn’t What it Used to Be
Meeting new people at university is easy and the romantic opportunities seem pretty endless. This all changes when you enter the terrifying world of adulthood. Still, hopefully you won’t end up making out with a teenage goth in a bowling alley toilet or trapping yourself in a loveless green card marriage.
Going Out Becomes Much Less Regular and Much More Depressing
Whether it’s being forced to bring your food shopping to a house party or pretending to take ecstasy in a nightclub, Peep Show is strangely accurate in its presentation of post-university nightlife.
Your Uni Mates Aren’t as Much Fun as You Remember
It’s easy to get on with people at university where disparate individuals are held together by a culture of regular drinking and hatred for deadlines. After it’s over, you might feel your friendship group growing apart as you start to realise that your interest in the Battle of Stalingrad is quite far removed from your mates' enthusiasm for drugs and orgies.
Your job Might be Terrible…
Try as you might, you probably won’t be able to waltz into your dream job with that English degree. You might have to settle for something more in the line of JLB Credit, at least for a while. At least you can hold out hope that your boss will be as good as Alan Johnson.
Or you just might not have one
On the bright side, living your life in a state of perpetual Jez-dom opens the door for some adventures. You too could plan to open a questionably named pub with a drug addict!
Your priorities will change
University becomes a busy time when you try and cram all of that working, partying and sleeping into three brief years. After graduation you’ll have to focus on a lot more things at once, most of them hugely unexciting. After a while you too will find yourself being thrilled at the prospect of getting 33% extra free in a tin of tomatoes.
Your creative dreams will look increasingly laughable
Right now you might think that your music career is a certainty. You’ve got the talent and your whole life ahead of you to apply it. But soon you’ll find yourself like Jez, dancing alone in your room to the sound of ‘This is outrageous. This is contagious.’
You’ll Barbeque a Dead Dog
Okay, hopefully this is one sitcom scenario that you won’t have to see up close. At least, we really hope you don’t.