What do cats have in common with the average fresher? The burning question on everyone’s lips. It’s time for answers.

1. They can sleep literally anywhere

For freshers napping is a sport and their university town is the playing field. Pavement, skip, bus, you name it - a fresher has slept there. University sleeping rules apply: at night sleep is for the weak, but during the day, it’s totally justified. Similarly, cats spend about 15 hours a day asleep (usually in weird positions) - that’s a lot of cat naps.

Cat sleeping in weird position

2. They’re always hungry

It’s not surprising that first years (and students in general) love to eat when you think about their drinking habits. Just like cats they are never satisfied and always scrounging for more.

Cat eating cake

3. They come alive at night

Both freshers and cats go hunting at night - just for different things…

Cat winking

4. They don’t judge you

Because let’s face it, they are not in a position to...

Cat head on human body dancing

5. They do nothing all day

The abundance of free time in first year is not always spent wisely. Eat, sleep, rave repeat is the motto every fresher lives by. Yes, there are lectures, but when you only need 40% to pass the year, sleep > lectures. Luckily for cats, they don’t have lectures (that we know of) but sleeping, staring out of windows and climbing on furniture are all fun pastimes.

Cat watching TV with a beer

6. They always want to go out

It’s no great revelation that freshers love to party. Moving away from the family home and being free of parental restrictions for the first time equips them with a new found confidence, attitude and lust for life. Freshers are addicts and clubbing is their drug of choice. Cats also despise being stuck inside. They're always scratching on doors and meowing to be let 'out out' (see below)...

Cat drinking a bottle of wine

7. They may drink from the toilet

Safety is not a priority for first years, and after making the big step up from WKD to Sainsbury’s basic vodka, reckless behaviour ensues. In comparison cats can’t blame their antics on alcohol. They are just a bit stupid sometimes (or thirsty).

 Cat drinking from toilet

8. They don’t tell you when they’re sick everywhere

Trying to hide evidence of wrong-doings is a classic fresher characteristic - unless the individual in question is a wannabe BNOC. In the defence of cats, they simply don’t have the power of language to inform you of a vomit stained carpet. Although, their reluctance to look you in the eye does all the talking.

Cat caught in the act

9. They love a cuddle

Cats and freshers are needy creatures.

10. They’re very mischievous

Since they have so much time on their hands they can’t help but wreak havoc. Both first years and cats are capable of making an almighty mess. With just one tail swipe a cat can cause the same destruction as a drunken fresher.

  Cat stuck in blinds

11. They have no respect for your need to sleep

Fuelled by jager bombs, first years have no respect for other people. They were put on this planet to test the patience of the local residents. Cats also enjoy pushing boundaries - when you own a cat, your bed is no longer your own.

Cats playing keyboard

12. They fight

Freshers are silly and petty arguments in clubs can escalate to 'dramatic' fisticuffs in the street. As for cats, they don't only fight fellow felines - you could be enjoying a nice little cuddle session with a cat and they can very suddenly change their tune and start mauling you.

Cat fight funny

13. They are easily amused

Freshers are amused by traffic cones and road signs (try not to judge - they may still be going through puberty). Cats are amused by boxes and their own tail. It’s the simple things.

Cat playing with its own tail

In conclusion freshers = cats.

This topic has also given rise to some challenging questions in the Student Hut office. For instance: Do cat-lovers also have an unhealthy obsession with freshers? We’ll settle this contentious issue another day, but to distract yourself from this conundrum, find out where your university ranks in our league table or read 10 Reasons Donald Trump Would be the Worst Flatmate Imaginable or 18 Thoughts You Have During an Exam for more hilarity.

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