If you went to a British university, you'll definitely recognise these problems.
1. Rustlers Burgers
(Credit: YouTube)
Having a Rustlers Burger for dinner in your first year was basically compulsory, especially as they were often given away free to unsuspecting freshers. Remember peeling open the plastic to be greeted by the sadness of pale, dry buns and grey, chewy ‘beef’? Those were the days. RIP your tastebuds.
2. Brutalism
Was your uni even a uni if it didn’t have at least one brutalist concrete building that looked like it was designed by an architect that had been held hostage and forced to watch reruns of Top Gear until he either finished the building or died?
3. Photocopiers
At least, that’s what we were told these hulking great lumps of grey plastic were. For all we knew, they were alien beings sent down to study humans, because they photocopied textbooks about as effectively as a hippo could climb a tree.
4. Everyone stealing your milk
Brits love a good cuppa. But Brits are also not above drinking all of the milk in the flat and not replacing it, leaving their housemates to struggle through a lactose-free cup of tea.
5. Millions of mugs of half-finished tea
Take a glance around any student halls, and you’ll be bound to find approximately 12 dirty mugs quietly growing their own mini-ecosystems, complete with green mould, legs and eyes.
6. Rancid milk
It’s been two months, and everyone’s pretending they can’t see the two inches of milk in the bottom of the carton at the back of the fridge that turned orange quite a while ago.
7. People stealing your last biscuit
Rule #1 of living in halls: Never, under any circumstances, leave your last bourbon biscuit unattended.
8. Everyone thinking you have a regional accent
The beauty of UK universities is that people from around the country are united under one roof. The downside is that you’ll spend the next year arguing over the correct pronunciation of the word ‘scone’.
9. Sports Direct mugs
Or, as they’ll now be known, Agent Provocateur's Massive Cups.
10. Weird local pubs full of weird local people
It’s probably 300 years old, it stinks of stale smoke and has a thick brown carpet that your shoes stick to as you shuffle your way to the freezing loos. Just don’t make eye contact with the bartender.
11. Having to get a bus to uni
No comfy campuses for you beyond first year. Oh no, you’ll have to stand in the drizzle and wait with 20 other people for the unreliable local bus that dawdles through every estate on the outskirts of the city to get to your lectures.
12. Takeaway corner
That corner of your house (or sofa) dedicated to piles and piles of empty(ish) kebab boxes, chicken buckets and burger wrappings. Sometimes, it moves.
13. Red Stripe
Your recycling bin is 99% empty Red Stripe cans, 1% baked bean cans.
14. Baked Beans on Toast
The dinner, lunch, or breakfast of champions. Especially with those little sausages in them.
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