The sun is out and that can only mean one thing… you’re going to be stuck in a depressingly busy library studying for exams. It happens every year! The weather is great while you’re revising and as soon as you taste sweet freedom, it starts to rain.
Unfortunately, as a fellow dosser the exam period is anything but fun. For the hardworking of your peers, an exam is the opportunity to showcase all the studying and extra reading they’ve done. This isn’t the case for you, as you cram just about enough information into your brains to bullshit your way through.
Luckily, you're not alone! If you want to survive the exam period with your grades and sanity left intact, here’s what you need….
The library is a scary place during the exam period, so make sure you bring a friend… especially if that friend went to all the lectures and made really good notes on all the extra reading you didn’t think you needed to do. If you are going to study in a group, make sure you team up with those who are more intelligent and/or harder working than you.
Reserve a Desk
No matter what anyone says, surely it’s acceptable to reserve a desk by putting a book on it. Some will get annoyed with you, but it’s only because they weren’t able to do the same thing first. It’s a dog eat dog world, so if you got up earlier and like the look of the desk by the window next to the air-con, put your bag there and disappear for a few hours.... And then return just in time to watch some good TV... or the snooker apparently!
No matter how much of a turnip you look, big headphones are a necessity! The library's actually the noisiest place on campus, full of obnoxious students chatting and eating like they are auditioning for a crunchy nut ad. Headphones are a sign that you probably shouldn’t disturb someone… Huge Dr. Dre style headphones make it beyond doubt that you don’t want disturbing. Invest in some!
Apparently, the only thing you gain from uni is weight! During exams this feels more true than ever, particularly if you fail your exams. However, it is physically impossible to stay sane during the exam period without copious amounts of chocolate, sweets, cake, ice cream, crisps, doughnuts… and more chocolate. Stock up and enjoy!
If you are stressed out by exams, buy stationery. It’s a soothing experience and makes you feel like you are more prepared than you actually are. Until you have a Pukka Pad in every size known to man, how on earth will you be able to complete any proper revision?!
Your bank card
You need to leave at least two hours per day set aside for procrastinating. After eating sugary snacks, the best way to pass the time in 'revision breaks' is to spend money on things you don’t really need with money you don’t really have! Make sure you have your bank card ready to treat yourself to anything from some new swimwear to a banana onesie!
Deleting Facebook is like running away from home – it’s a big deal at the time but deep down you know you’ll be back within 2 days. However, if you want to show everyone that you're a serious ‘reviser’ this is an absolute must. Unfortunately, these days it’s not just Facebook you’ve got to get rid of. Group chats on Whatsapp have probably already had a detrimental effect on your grades, so it may be worth deleting it for a bit too.
Obviously, if you do English or History you don’t need one. However, if you are clever enough to study anything slightly more mathematical, you will need a calculator. There is always someone who doesn’t realise this and has to borrow or run to a shop to get one. Don’t be that person…
Exams don’t mean you have the right not to shower! You can get away with wearing a dressing gown to the shops, not making any effort with your appearance and even socks and sandals… but you still have to be clean. You may like the smell of your own BO, but others may not be so keen!
A Perfected Evil Stare
There are lots of a***holes in the library. The type of people who fight over plug sockets and think that because they are doing exams no-one else matters. We are in Britain, so you can’t go up to them and politely ask them to keep it down… that’s just not cricket! Instead you have to glare at them and tut/huff loudly. Therefore, the better your evil stare is, the more likely that they will pipe down.
Every pro reviser knows that you need to highlight the hell out of your notes to take it all in. Even if you have no clue what is going on, get a highlighter and go nuts. Plus, if you actually do know what’s going on, it’s your duty to highlight the important bits of library books to help everyone else out.
Do people actually like energy drinks?! You only ever see people downing it with Jager or because they’ve got to stay up late to finish something. It’s been proven that it doesn’t give you wings, but you may as well jump on the bandwagon and drink it during big revision sessions anyway. Don’t overdo it though, we’ve all seen Will from the Inbetweeners’ unfortunate incident…
The exam period can be an emotional time, especially if you are trying to cram a whole semester of work into 2 weeks. So make sure you have a pack of tissues handy! Plus, there are other times tissues might become useful during revision sessions… like if your pen leaks!
Good luck with your exams!