At first, they’re harder to understand than any international student
If someone says to you ‘Howay man, let wa gan doon the Toon for some canny scran, like’ you should just say yes.
They eat all their meals with gravy
They’re basically always up for drinking
And when they drink, they drink A LOT
Being raised on a diet of good beer and cheap trebles will do that to you.
They have tea brewing down to a scientific method
And any way other than their way is wrong.
Oh yeah, make sure you don’t bring up whether tea is a meal or a drink
Or whether this is a roll or a bap
Or a cob. Or a barm. Or a batch.
Or how to pronounce ‘bath’ and ‘grass’
Just leave it alone, honestly.
They will have an attachment to Greggs that borders on the obsessive
They will always call you mate, regardless of how much they actually like you
They’re permanently talking about how cheap beer is back home
They will form an instant connection with anyone who lives north of ‘the line’
But will bicker endlessly about where ‘the line’ actually is
Apparently it's here?
They’re probably beautiful
Why do you think all the Starks in Game of Thrones are so handsome? It’s no coincidence.