‘HOW THE F**K IS LAIDLAW FULL ALREADY?’... Sound familiar?
1. ‘Sack it off, we’re all in Terrace’
Finishing an assignment is like reaching the light at the end of a dark tunnel, and more than often for a Leeds student, that light shines upon a pint (or 10) at Terrace. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t going to be a couple to help you along the way. When the gloom and doom of the library all gets a bit too much, no matter how important the assignment, sometimes Terrace has to take priority.
2. ‘How the f**k is Laidlaw full ALREADY?’
Every Leeds student is all too familiar with the ancient myth of the Laidlaw space. Finding a space in this library is like catching the Golden Snitch. However, how to acquire these elusive spaces is a complete and utter enigma. You could rise at the crack of dawn, grab your pre-packed lunch, stand in a queue outside Laidlaw in the drizzle of a smoggy Leeds morning, and still rush in to find each and every seat occupied. Where do these people all come from? No-one knows. Do they ever leave? Probably not. Do they eat? Do they sleep? Some say they feed off nothing but MHRA reference guidebooks and Turnitin submissions.
3. ‘I am never drinking again after last night’
Whether it was an Otley run, Warehouse Wednesday or Donuts, these are the famous last words of every Leeds student. However, no matter how many times you tell yourself this, you know in your heart of hearts that by the time the weekend rolls around you will be singing a very different tune as you stagger into Crispies demanding a double portion of cheesy chips.
4. ‘I only go to Eddy B for the talent tbh’
What other reason would you go to Eddy B for but for the abundance of incredibly attractive, well-dressed people? Well, it’s not to get any work done, that’s for sure.
5. ‘How many words you on?’
You’re crawling out of Brotherton basement, bleary-eyed, with the stench of red bull and Tesco meal deals lingering on your breath. You’re wearing trackies stained with pasta sauce and your hair is greasier than a Flames Chicken Combo box. Your brain is a befuddled conglomeration of bibliographies and footnotes, and the delirium is settling in. The evidence is clear: you have pulled an all-nighter. As you emerge in desperate need of human contact, you confer with your fellow sufferer as to how many words you’re on. After the interaction has passed, it's time to lumber back down again, like a faithful troll returning to guard their Brotherton dungeon.
6. ‘Awww thank you hun they’re from Depop’
Everyone knows that a girl from Leeds has a signature lewk. The Leeds girl has truly perfected the unique and delicate art of putting an incredible amount of effort into looking like they’ve made absolutely none at all. All across the campus you will find girls conferring, and, more than often, the item of interest will be extracted from one of three sources: Depop, Headingley charity shops and Blue Rinse will be the answer to all your questions.
7. ‘I was the only Leeds student not in Hyde Park yesterday’
In Leeds, you are more likely to see Theresa May get a warm welcome than the slightest glimmer of sunlight. So, on the yearly occasion of a sunny day, more fool you if you decide to get anything done. Every house lining Hyde Park will suddenly transform into a round-the-clock garden party, and the park itself will be teeming with BBQ’s and beers galore. Again, absolutely do not attempt to get anything done on this day.
8. ‘Don’t worry, first year doesn’t count’
You tell yourself for the 15th time as you recoil in horror at your exceptionally low coursework marks. Don’t worry, you’ll be glad you made the most of it when the work load of second year comes around and hits you harder than Rocky Balboa.
9. ‘Apparently lectures for our module will be recorded so I’ll see you at the exam’
Lecture Capture. Surely that’s just an invitation to sack of your Friday 9am isn’t it?
10. ‘I have NO idea what I’m doing next year either’
Probably the most reassuring sentence you can hear when your time at Leeds is coming to a close. As every final year trudges through those last few thousand words of their dissertation, they know that all that faces them after the most incredible three years at Leeds is impending existential crisis. Don’t feel ready for the working world yet? Don’t worry, you can always apply for a Masters...
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