Pre-drinks changes all of us.
Everybody knows that a huge aspect of uni is the nights out. As going out sober isn’t really an option unless you’re a millionaire or a recovering alcoholic, pre-drinks are bound to be a massive part of the uni experience.
However, gathering your group together and throwing alcohol into the mix can bring out sides of people’s personalities you hadn’t met yet.
The only question remaining, then, is which one is you?
The Dictator
This guy hasn’t come here to socialise, he’s here to play, and play properly. The dictator has no time for chat and takes great pride in ensuring that game rules are vigilantly enforced on the entire group. On the bright side, there’s absolutely no way that anybody’s walking out sober with the dictator around.
The Mother
The mother is a worrier. Recognisable at pre-drinks by their concern at how many drinks you’ve consumed already and their distinctive panicked call of “TAXIS!!” Don’t worry if the alcohol starts to hit you too hard either, when the mother’s around you know you’re going to make it home alright. However, in accordance with the rule that the one who looks after you has full rights to photograph the experience, the mother also has the power to strike fear into your heart with one tag - beware.
The Liability
The liability is the mother’s worst nightmare. It’s 9.30, half the group isn’t even here yet and they already have drunk eyes. This person has absolutely no concern for their own safety, instead agreeing to down drink after drink (probably at the enforcement of the dictator). As a result, it’s advised to watch out for the one falling out of the door at 11, unless you want to be trying to convince a taxi to take them home and promising to catch their sick at 11.30.
The DJ
The DJ can be found sat in the corner possessively holding the speaker. They don’t care much about actually joining in with pre-drinks, in fact they’re much happier blasting the sick song they found last week – I mean, you’ve probably not heard of but it’s DEFINITELY going to be the next big hit. Of course, you’ll never actually hear a whole song when they’re around but hey, at least you don’t have to sort out the music.
The Randomer
Nobody’s really sure who he is, apparently he’s someone’s friend off of their course or maybe he was from home? You can’t really be sure to be honest. You try and be nice and talk to them (because their new and those are the rules when somebody brings a friend) but really you just want to get drunk with your friends. If they can let loose and prove themselves to be fun then they’re in for a great time! If not, well, not your mate not your problem.
The Last Minute Downer
They haven’t had a sip of drink for the last two hours, but as soon as the taxi arrives they’re necking a 60/40 pint of vodka and lemonade like it’s water! There tend to be two main reasons for this; a) they hate actually drinking but still want to get drunk, or b) they’ve actually only just finished getting ready (hours after everyone else) and are forced to catch up. Warning to the wise: This method never ends well, particularly if they decide to bottle their own god-awful concoction for the queue, inevitably screwing over the entire group.
The Borrower
The borrower has never actually bought their own drinks with them to pres. Why should they when everyone else has so much, right? This person can be found hopping around ‘borrowing’ whatever they can find with absolutely no intention of returning the favour. This behaviour alright if someone runs out of drink once in a while and asks to share, but a frequent borrower is likely to stop actually getting invited in the first place.
The One Who Won’t Make It Out
They had a day off today, so of course they’ve been drinking since half 12. When the rest of you get there nine hours later they’re looking a little worse for wear. By 10 they can’t really speak, and by 11 they’ve crawled upstairs and are slumped over the toilet losing their liquid lunch. The only thing to do in this situation is put them to bed with the washing up bowl and hope their hangover in the morning isn’t too crippling. Bless them.
The Phone Addict
The Phone Addict is completely uninterested in what’s going on around them. They’ve been here for an hour and have only managed about three sips, unable to tear themselves away from their Twitter feed. In fact, the only time they’re likely to be interacting with the rest of the group is during the photo shoot for their extensive Snapchat story. This student poses a problem for the dictator in particular, who will be forced to work incredibly hard to resist the urge to grab their phone and drop it in their barely touched drink when they flat out ignore his insistence that they join in the games.
The Target
The target is well known for being exceptionally skilled in making a complete tit of themselves. As such, by second year the group will have an extensive list of cripplingly embarrassing instances to pull out for Never Have I Ever and Bullshit. This, of course, leads to the target becoming significantly more drunk than the rest of the group and most likely embarrassing themselves further. While hanging around this person does mean you’ll get to experience the next moment first hard, they also run the risk of becoming the liability, so watch out!
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