Yes, it's that time again! Exam season 2016 is nearly upon us, and that means everyone has started revising (or thought about it at least!). The campus is packed, the stress levels have risen and getting a socket in the library has become a matter of life and death.
Despite the hours spent in school or college going over positive revision techniques, university students seem to have weird and wonderful attitudes and techniques to get them through the strain of exams. It may not be pretty or logical but if it works for them, you just have to leave them to it!
So here are the 10 types of student you'll spot around campus during the exam period.
The analyst knows exactly how many marks he or she needs to get to achieve a certain grade (usually a 2:1) and plans to do just enough work to get them there. They will also go through all the past papers, not to practise exam technique, but to the work out which questions are ‘definitely’ going to come up this year. The analyst will even try to predict what mark they will get in each exam – crazy stuff!
The crammer is a Red Bull drinking student who has made a bizarre yet conscious decision to leave their revision until the last minute. They spend weeks reassuring themselves and others that they work better when the pressure is on. The crammer will often do well, but will come out of the exam as pale as anything, sleep deprived and with the shakes from all that energy drink.
Proof: Red Bull doesn't give you wings!
The OCD Note-taker
This person has more colouring pencils than your university’s geography department and is intent on using them all. Mind-maps, flow-charts, webs of causation, flash cards - if it's a revision aid they're going to use it. Basically, the OCD note-takers keep Pukka Pads in business. These people usually do well but annoy everyone in the process.
To be honest, most of you reading this article are likely to be this category, but the true procrastinator does not only effect themselves. They feel an urge, a duty even, to share as many videos, photos and jokes, so that everyone else is lulled into the endless sea of Youtube videos and Facebook posts. These people love cat videos and have watched every single episode of ‘Take Me Out’. Don’t get too close to a procrastinator during revision – procrastinating is contagious!
The Emotional Rollercoaster
It doesn’t matter how much work the emotional rollercoaster has done, they will still have more dramas than a series of the X-Factor. They spend their lives on the phone to their families and sometimes their pets! Plus, they'll ask everyone else what they are revising just to make sure they haven’t missed a single detail out. The exam comes, unsurprising they do well and then look back and wonder why they were so stressed!
No-one has seen them in weeks and the only sign that they are alive is the pile of late night takeaway boxes emerging in the kitchen. They shut down their Facebook account, turn off their phone and won’t answer a knock at the door. The hermit might go crazy but, if they don’t, they will do well.
The gambler is similar to the analyst but just hasn’t quite got round to doing the analysis. They make a bold decision to revise 3 topics based on a hunch and then hope for the best. If the right questions don’t come up on the day, they are likely to struggle. The gambler is loveable and you do feel sorry for them if it doesn’t pay off!
The Sensual Soul
The sensual soul believes that it is vital to maintain a healthy body and mind during exams. The organic cereal bars are bulk-bought and they book onto yoga classes four times a week. If you live with them you’ll notice a waft of scented candles coming from their rooms. They will even have a daily bath – yes, the bath in a student house!
The ‘I really don’t give a s%&t’ guy
This person gives the persona of being very relaxed and loves resorting to clichés like ‘it’s just an exam’ and ‘you can’t fatten a pig by weighing it’. They can pull off the aloof coolness until the exam is a few days away. Then they become the nervous wreck they have secretly been for the last six weeks. Their ‘I don’t give a s%&t’ attitude is long gone as they desperately text round to see if anyone has the notes for week 6’s seminar.
The Erotically Charged
Finally the erotically charged find themselves having more ‘alone time’ during the exam period than ever before. Unlike the procrastinator, they aren’t watching cat videos! They usually spend their days in the library fantasising about someone inviting them into the 5th floor toilets for some spontaneous fun. This remains an unfulfilled dream.
That completes our 10 types of student during the exam period. No matter how you revise, good luck with your revision and your exams too!