1. You’re sitting there chilling, enjoying your life when you suddenly remember that you have to choose your modules. TODAY.
2. ‘Uh oh.’
3. You try and read the module directory but all the words blur into each other as the panic sets in.
4. ‘How many credits do I need again?!’ You reach for the calculator and start frantically adding 30 + 30 + 15…
5. ‘BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO STUDY 18TH CENTURY SATIRE OR 19TH CENTURY SATIRE! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO STUDY SATIRE!’ You scream at your laptop as the deadline ticks ever closer.
6. ‘Finally, I’ve found five modules that all add up and don’t clash with each other. Doesn’t matter what they are, I’m just pleased I can still do basic maths. Now I can forget all about it for another four months.’
7. ‘It’s the first day of the new year! I’ve got my timetable clutched to my chest and I’m ready for my first lecture’
8. ‘Hmm, the lecturer seems a bit odd’
9. ‘Oh no, everyone here looks really strange. Where are my friends? I need backup!’
10. ‘Ugh no this is the most boring lecture ever! And they’re setting extra reading on top of the set texts?!’ *Bashes head on desk*
11. ‘I DON’T WANT TO DO A PRESENTATION ON MY OWN TO 50 CREEPY STRANGERS’
12. ‘There is no way that I’ll ever use anything I learn on this module in real life. Unless I become a lecturer in Ghosts & Hauntology in Theatre and Performance’
13. ‘Please don’t pick on me, I don’t know the answer, I didn’t do the reading because I regret everything and I’m just going to fail uni and live under a bridge and ask people riddles’
14. ‘Oh great, he picked on me’
15. ‘Bye bye future’
16. ‘I’m going to have to go begging to my advisor and ask them let to let me switch, possibly armed with a bottle of wine and a lot of sobbing’
17. ‘Phew, they let me switch, I’m never doing that nonsense again!’ Until next year, when, inevitably, you do.
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