Exams eh? They’re the bane of university students: we cry, worry, and dread the very thought of taking them. Unfortunately they’re a necessary evil (and admittedly) they’re often the best way to judge what we’ve been learning in our degrees and that we were paying attention in that tutorial back in October. During the exam, however, have you noticed a few strange things that always happen? Well we have, and we’ve listed them below:
1. For some reason, the exam invigilators are usually fairly old
Without roasting invigilators too much, they do tend to have a horrendously bad sense of style as well.
2. There’s always that one person who wants to discuss their answer after the exam endlessly
‘What question did you pick for section B? I was gonna go for question 4, but it was a tricky angle and it was worded quite weird, so I went for question 5 instead...but I’m not sure if I interpreted the question clearly enough, and I think my first argument didn’t reference enough sources and sounded quite flimsy, but I did manage to write a decent amount, around 4 pages worth, and with my small hand-writing that’s pretty good going...but you know what they say it’s all about quality, not quantity…’
Yeah, please stop. I don’t care bruv.
3. Someone will have brung their entire stationery kit…
It’ll also be in nice little pencil case, all neatly organised on their desk.
4. ...While there’s always that one person who hasn’t brought anything
You know that person. Knowing your luck, you’ll have sat down and the exam hall is utter silence, but he/she will start gesturing towards you manically for a pen. You try to ignore them but they’re relentless in trying to make eye contact with you, and you’re worried that this bugger is gonna get you both disqualified.
5. And the very same person will probably be that one student who turns up at the last minute
And that person will also arrive literally 1 minute before the exam takes place looking haggard and unkempt. You swear you’ve seen that person before - was it the first lecture of term? But you’ve never seen them since. But somehow, SOMEHOW, that person will get one of the best grades in the whole year.
5. When ‘5 minutes left’ echoes around the exam hall, you head straight to…
Abandon the line of your last point, and you bring it home baby in the conclusion. Right now, you’re praying your half-baked conclusion will scrape you that sweet 2:1.
6. Waiting outside the exam hall, people are gossiping about what questions will come up
One person is the middle, telling everyone that this question and topic has to come up this year. He thinks from studying past exam papers, he’s cracked the code, and that it’ll definitely come up. Oh, so naive. I would love to see their face when they open the exam paper and find that it’s not there.
7. You question your intellectual worth when the person next to you requests more paper
You’ve barely got your head around the first question, and suddenly an arm in the seat next to you shoots up and whispers to the invigilator ‘Can I get more paper please?’ In your head you tell yourself, ‘Remember quality not quantity, quality not quantity...what I am doing? f---!’. *panics and proceeds to written diarrhea over exam paper without answering the question properly*
8. Everyone at the back of the room continues writing even though time is up
Those jammy gits. Why isn’t my last name beginning with a R? I tell you what, if I do awful in this exam, I’m blaming my parents for this...