Uni can be a stressful time with lots of work building up over the weeks. So how can you help a friend all while looking after your own mental health?
Everyone needs to look after their mental health, so how can you help others who are having a tough time? You may be cautious about what to say and what not to say so here's a guide to help you understand your friend whilst looking after your own mental health when uni can get stressful.
Listen and chat
Everyone needs to open up now and then. Having someone to listen to and share the problem with can make things a lot easier. This can also bring you closer to your friend and get to know them a lot better.
It’s ok to rant
After a long, hard day there’s nothing better than falling onto a sofa and just ranting to the world about how you’re feeling. It’s not hard to listen to someone express how they feel. It can be difficult to put into words exactly what you or your friend may be feeling.
You could always come up with ‘codes’ that can make it easier for you or your friend to express to each other how you are feeling without having to explicitly describe every detail. For example, 'I'm feeling green' can mean 'I'm feeling really good today' or 'I'm feeling amber' can mean 'I'm ok but I'm not 100% and can't put my finger on why'.
Help them focus on what they enjoy
It’s always easy to have a chat about how difficult a task is, but getting your friend to talk about what they enjoy can help them focus on what they love and the interests that led them to their degree. It can also help you focus on your own passions, too.
Encourage them to come out
Create opportunities that enable them to have the choice of whether or not they want to come out. Drinks down the pub can go on for hours, but an event where you have to book specific numbers can be more restrictive. Giving your friend the option to come out or not can be a really good way to let them know that they are welcome but there's no pressure to go out.
Everyone likes to stay in bed
Sometimes staying and snuggling in bed, watching Netflix all day is what some people want, so respect their choices. Sometimes, it's exactly what someone needs.
No preaching
Every experience of mental illness is different. People suffer from different mental illnesses with different levels of severity. Everyone is at different stages of coping, so be aware of that. Instructing your friend to ‘get on with it’ or to ‘stop being selfish’ will only make things worse.
Just think about how you would feel if someone told you that you weren’t trying your best at something when in reality you were giving it your all.
Be honest with yourself
If you feel you are not comfortable helping your friend with their mental illness then you must be honest. Every student has a lot of pressure on their shoulders to perform well at university in several different tasks and topics. Being honest with yourself and your friend will save you from tip-toeing around the subject and letting problems brew.
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