Welcome to our hellscape of stock photos of students.
Fixed grimaces. Empty unbranded beer bottles. Hideous double denim. This is just the beginning.
This look like they've spotted a creepy man hiding in a stack of books and have tried to ward him off with their massive thumbs, like garlic to a vampire.
"LOOK HOW EXCITED I AM BY MY TURQUOISE AND YELLOW NOTEBOOKS I CAN'T WAIT TO STUDY" - said no student, ever.
Model: "How do the cool kids celebrate graduation now?"
Photographer: "Umm. Selfies, I guess"
Model: "Nailed it"
You stand on a staircase, looking up, frozen in fear but unable to move. You want to scream but you can't. You want to run but your legs feel like lead. Brightly coloured people rush past you, but nobody stops to help. You have a 3000 word essay due in 4 hours. Welcome to university.
When you're so stressed about your finals that you could eat your fist but your stupid ham hands won't fit so you grab the back of your head and try and shove it in.
WHAT IMPORTANT THING HAS EVER HAPPENED AT 4.05? WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS, YOUNG LADY?
What? When would this stock photo ever be appropriate?
This woman's either having the worst or the best cooking experience of her life.
University: You're still bullied and sobbing, but at least you get to wear cute tops now.
If you shoot yourself over a pile of library books you WILL be charged the replacement cost of every single one.
HE looks a bit like young Brad Pitt, IF BRAD PITT HAD A MULLET. Also, that orange is offensive and, frankly, sickening.
Who knew that stock photo women just trying to have a nice stock photo drink with their nice stock photo friends still have to deal with being creeped on by stock photo men?
To be fair this looks like an excellent evening in. Pizza? Check. Beer? Check. Naps? Check. Playstation? Check. Looking 100% hot at the same time? Check. If only.
No idea how she's managed to get her hair so ruffled without having touched a single ingredient. Stress threshold: 0.
Where did he find that cardboard? Why is he holding a biro when that sign was clearly written in felt tip?
Oh no, not you too! Wait... that's the exact same sign as the last guy... WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?
You know that moment when you're a student and you cut some holes in your t-shirt and roll around in some dirt and laugh whilst chucking water over yourself... yeah us neither.
When you graduate and your future is bright and full of sky.
When you forget how to study and attempt to absorb a whole textbook through osmosis.
Ah, yes, this is actually very accurate, 10/10.
When you're poor and you can't afford a second sofa.
Ok, sorry, but she is definitely third-wheeling here. Leave that nice couple alone with their poorly photoshopped decking.
"Sandra, are you still alive?"
"Yes, Karen, obviously I'm just listening to my textbook."
"LISTENING to my TEXTBOOK. God Karen, don't you even know how to revise?"
University: Pizza parties, boobs and creepy smiles from people in unfortunate brown cardigans. This is clearly a witches coven. Run, stock photographer, run.
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