In the spirit of National Shakespeare Day (23rd of April) we wrote an article on which epic Shakespeare insult represents you as a student!

Find out which Shakespeare insult best describes you as a student below!! 


  • The optimist approach “ infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker…” (All’s Well That Ends Well - Act 3, Scene 6)

You are the kind of student that swears after every essay hand-in that you are going to turn over a new leaf and start doing it earlier or start putting more effort in. Does it happen though…? Ever? 


  • The bad influence approach “I scorn you, scurvy companion” (Henry IV - Part 2, Act 2, Scene 4)

You can’t bring yourself to do work because you are too stressed so instead you force your friends to go out on a couple of big night outings with you. That way, you can just pretend that the work isn’t there and dance away your worries. 


  • The passive aggressive approach “More of your conversation would infect my brain” (Comedy of Errors - Act 2, Scene 1)

Most commonly found in the library, you are the student that when you have work to do, you literally hate everybody. A sneeze, a sniffle, and your fists clench. 


  • The zombie-fied approach “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage” (As You Like It - Act 2, Scene 7)

You are in your lecture for twenty minutes when you realise that you literally haven’t taken anything in and all you’ve done is written the date. Your brain feels numb, you can feel your eyes closing and your head nodding, and all you want is bed.


  • The jealous approach “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes” (Comedy of Errors - Act 5, Scene 4)

Shakespeare insult

Another student in your class has finished their essay three weeks early and instead of being happy for them, you turn into the green eyed monster and can only make yourself feel better by thinking ‘what a nerd!’


  • The witty approach  “If I be waspish, best beware my sting” (The Taming Of The Shrew - Act 2, Scene 1)

Shakespeare insult

Sparknotes and Wikipedia are your best friend. Read the book? Psht, good one! You blag your way through classes after reading up about them online. You have an answer for everything and have a real knack of answering a question with another question.


  • The procrastinator approach “How have you come so early by this lethargy” (Twelfth Night - Scene 1, Act 5)

You reward yourself with a three hour nap after completing thirty minutes of work and snack on well over your daily calorie intake on the run-up to deadline day. 


  • The organised approach “How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, that has such people in it!” (The Tempest, Act V, Scene 1)

Shakespeare insult

 You start reading the required reading lists in the summer and finish essays a month before hand-in. All of your classmates wonder how you do it, many are jealous and this makes you smug.


  • The last minute approach “These violent delights, have violent ends” (Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene VI)

You had two hours sleep last night after starting your essay at 8pm yesterday evening and were up at 5am to finish your essay for the 9am deadline. You have the same clothes on that you wore yesterday and you never knew that you could type so fast!

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So, which Shakespeare insult best described you as a student?

Tweet us at @studenthutuk and let us know which one you got. Any suggestions on other Shakespeare insults, comments are welcome in the box below!

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