1. "Take a leaf out of Zlatan Ibrahimovic's book;
When asked what he got his partner on her birthday he replied;
'Nothing, she already has the Zlatan.'
This sentiment can easily be applied to Valentine's day."
Whatever you do- do NOT take a leaf out of Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s book. I feel fairly convinced that once he said this, his girlfriend did not want “the Zlatan” anymore. Especially as I’ve just googled him and he looks like a creepy magician.
2. "Just turn off your tech for 24 hours. These days, we are all addicted to our smartphones and social media feeds. Give your Sweetheart the gift of your undivided attention for Valentine's Day"- https://ptmoney.com/cheap-valentines-day-ideas/
So don’t get me wrong, not going on your phone for a while is a nice thing to do… The time we spend with loved ones is often more valuable when we aren’t stressed or distracted. However, spending time with your partner as opposed to playing candy crush is NOT A GIFT. You should want to hang out with them out of choice… looking at their face instead of scrolling through insta shouldn’t really be a chore.
I’ve legit got no idea why Sam is so keen for his girlfriend to be hideously burnt. Cooking in just an apron also doesn't exactly scream hygiene. To top it off he decides that the kindest thing to do is let her plan the day for herself and he’ll just show up. Nothing says love like agreeing to be present but putting no thought into it. I bet he always buys people gift cards.
5. "Buy her roses - If you can, it's great to have them ready in the morning to remind her you remembered. (With the card.) And quantity doesn't always matter. 1 rose can be as powerful as a dozen." - https://www.marsvenus.com/blog/john-gray/5-tips-for-men-on-valentines-day
This piece of “advice” is particularly depressing as the man who wrote it is claiming to be some kind of psychology professional. Another of his hints is literally “plan a date”, and so I began to scour his profile. Alarmingly, he wrote “the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'”, a book that I sincerely hope no one has wasted their time reading.
Apart from the fact that this advice doubles as an advert for a “beautiful country inn company”, we can only hope that being asked to “show your appreciation and gratitude for his wise ways”, is a joke.
It’s totally believable that women would like a heartfelt letter for Valentine's day- less believable is that they’d be as thrilled if they knew you were “rejoicing” about the fact it’s inexpensive. Write a love letter because you want to- not because you don’t want to spend a fiver on some chocolate.
So there it is... Even if you're worried you haven't done Valentine's day right... At least you're not any of these people, or their significant others.
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